Translated from Hungarian

 

Drink it anyways

to János Sziveri

 

Three Serbs are sitting in my chest

knocking on the walls.

I suck in every bit of ash

from the cigarette smoke.

Every hour the blood clots

in my head, then

thins and moves on,

this is how

everything repeats.

 

Who pulls the life from us

with two outstretched hands?

 

You carve dry flesh from my bones,

the wind passes through my ribs,

and if there is any light

left inside you,

force it out of your throat,

vomit before the others.

 

The town is a giant whale,

terror trembling in its chest,

because

the ocean is too far,

the sea is too far,

and you also are too far

from me,

the ground covers over.

And I lay here for nothing

on this same earth

on the other side of it,

I can’t drain you

from the stomach

of any whale.

 

Your hand squeezes

the blood from my throat,

and you comfort me:

the earth with drink it

anyways.

 

I wait for the train,

and I’ll arrive tonight

for nothing, you won’t come,

tomorrow they’ll close

the station behind me,

for a month

Keleti will stay silent,

the terror

will also tremble

in the chest

of the one

who awaits

the touch

of the same hand.

 

The mind is held against the skull’s wall

and they fire until the people run into bullets.

Later they must chop down the whole forest

they need so many coffins.

 

i’ll throw you down stand up i’ll throw you back down

now run stand up i’ll throw you back down

stand up tear out your roots stand up

stand up run i’ll throw you back down

to the ground anyways.

 

Subotica disappears, its flames enormous.

I watch from afar,

stagger while the horizon sways.

I trip

and in my head echoes:

the earth will drink

it up anyways.

 

 

In thick fog

 

What seed of hell

is this black earth?

I searched for you, called out to you,

I crawled into your palm, Lord.

You closed it.

And I crack,

like a trapped spine.

 

Your absence settles into me,

it snaps the bones in my shoulders, one by one.

Something is broken in here,

I didn’t find the way,

and the blood pours

from my mouth.

 

Гусга ми магла паднала море,

Гусга ми магла паднала.

На тој ми рамно Косово море,

на тој ми рамно Косово!1

 

I stand without you in the desert, Lord.

The villages are burning in the valley,

but you aren’t anywhere.

Heads and legs are smoldering,

and in the smoke, I search

for only you,

but see nothing,

my eyes wet,

my chest wet,

every tear

slipping off me.

 

Ништа се живо не види море,

ништа се живо не види.

До једно дрво високо море,

до једно дрво високо.2

 

I set fire to every village,

but you still won’t show yourself.

I draw red lines

dragging the cooling bodies,

but you still won’t move.

I stand on dry rock,

and see nothing.

I lie among white trees,

try to shed

my skin,

so that I will be raw flesh

before you, and the sun.

 

I don’t know which road

I took this far from home,

and where I should go

tomorrow.

 

Под њег` ми седив терзије море,

под њег` ми седив терзије.

Они ми шијев јелече море,

они ми шијев јелече.3

 

I whispered your name,

you soaked me with blood.

Slowly,

you sewed into my shirt

all the names of the people

whose necks I stood on.

I lie among white trees,

the spring pulls away my skin.

I am raw flesh before you, Lord,

could you cover me

with your two great hands?

 

Колко су дзвезде на небо море,

колко су дзвезде на небо.

Толко су шарке на њега море,

толко су шарке на њега.4

 

Something is broken in here,

I didn’t find the way,

the earth crumbles under me

 


1 A thick fog has fallen on me,
A thick fog has fallen on me,
Over the plains of Kosovo,
Over the plains of Kosovo!

2 There is nothing alive I see,
There is nothing alive.
I see only a single tree,
I see only a single tree.

3 The tailors are sewing under that tree,
The tailors are sewing a vest for me,
And they weave into my vest,
as many colors as the stars.

4 As many stars in the sky,
As many stars in the sky,
Are the colors in the vest,
Are the colors in the vest.

 

 

 


Anna Terék was born in 1984 in Bačka Topola, former Yugoslavia. In addition to her drama compilations, Anna has published four collections of poetry, including Danube Street (Duna utca), Dead Women (Hallott nök), and Back on the Sun (Háttal a napnak), which was awarded the Milán Füst Prize in 2020. She currently resides in Budapest.

 

Kristen Herbert is a writer and translator originally from the Chicago area. Her translations of contemporary Hungarian literature have been published in Waxwing, Newfound, Asymptote, and Columbia Journal Online, as well as Hungarian Literature Online, where she briefly worked as an editor. She is currently an MFA candidate in fiction at the University of California-Riverside.