swelling vortexes and vertices
cavalcades and brigades marching
by estranged relatives with terminal
conditions precipitated and dated,
split into terms and conditions to be
checked off and consulted; sober
speculations undermined by lucent
laboratory examinations relentless
grandiloquence, screaming katydids
belate engines belay the moment of
belittlement portray the deviance
deep in the ship bone skeleton the
holes in my knowledge bloom,
swell tumescent malignant
it builds up like orgasm shudders out
when i call it by its name
it shouldn’t hurt it shouldn’t hurt it
shouldn’t hurt it should be absolution
devolution restitution how old must i get
to want to get older weight and want so sweet
and sure undetermined undermined euphoria
lying in wait weight want need want to want to
feel to hurt push past
push future push into push on
all the supple iterations of present panic
present breathless shudder hard hard
harder my earthquake body hot and
shaking fissured and left
waiting
atop ambivalent pyramids sinking
into quicksand bloated elliptical
degrees and qualifications beyond
you can’t do anything new now
evaluated and exhausted, overly
wrought thought developed into
negative shades intransigent, my
moments all strewn into nothingness,
steaming sunbake latent latex ache
passionate simplicity engaged dire
from babels you feel so outlandish,
unlanded moorless, home-aching
threaded of migraine brain matter
the sickness of this age
i’m trying to be a good memory