Maybe I’m entitled
to every suffering I desire.
Who isn’t facing
a reckoning, thinking
about reparations, lighting white candles
in the bath on a full moon?
I’m tempted to censor
the way I talk about spirituality,
the way I talk about the science
of warming, the way
ascension hurts, weaning
off nicotine. My middle schooler
writes “Skateboarding is dope”
then crosses out “dope”
to say “very good.”
Meanwhile, I’ve finally kicked the habit
of using prison as a metaphor
for angst. I know nothing
of the panopticon’s actual eye.
I know about suburbs,
wings, and fur, how to peer
into the lagoon of the mind
for signs. I can Google
anything: magic, neglect, metamorphic rock.
I could write a mean essay
about what it feels like to be trapped
by an overwhelming
amount of freedom,
licking the Mother Wound,
staring down a bighorn sheep
on a cliffside, headed
for the Bridge to Nowhere,
doing Lion’s Breath
until purple carrots
spring from the belly
of the riverbed, steward
of extravagant student loans.
The energy of my crown—I’ll say it—
vibrates as I find abundance
in a soulful of geese, a leaf,
flabbergasting myself
with the pleasure of wind chimes.
The looking glass celebrates
as often as it mourns—
blue-footed booby,
black rhino, Javan tiger.
I still only know how to change
one thing at a time, sitting outside,
rocking. Imagine: sending
tendrils down to the molten
core of the planet
like an anchor.
I’m tempted to censor myself
anytime I write “light,” but screw it,
I’m in training to resist
the old myths of the male bishops;
I have a good relationship
with my third eye—It’s really dope.
Some mornings I wait outside
for dawn to strike, doing nothing
but feeling
radical, while the terrier
from the shelter
works on a bone.
We trot around together,
sniffing and looking,
singing little songs. I’m happy,
he says to me all the time.
Thank you, I say back, and marvel
at a few well-kept lilies bouncing out
from a brick wall.
I make a note of hope
wherever it sprouts,
watching another rain bomb
drench Arizona
in a matter of seconds.
Nancy Lynée Woo is a 2022 Artists at Work fellow. Previously, she has received fellowships from PEN America, the Arts Council for Long Beach, and Idyllwild Writers Week. Nancy is the author of two chapbooks, Bearing the Juice of It All (Finishing Line Press, 2016) and Rampant (Sadie Girl Press, 2014). Her first full-length collection I’d Rather Be Lightning is due out March 2023 from GASHER Press. She has published poems in numerous journals and anthologies, including Tupelo Quarterly, The Shore, Radar Poetry, and Stirring. Nancy holds an MFA from Antioch University. Her work is largely inspired by the magic and power of the natural world.